I can't help myself

Getting pushed into doing things i'd rather not do. Peer pressure. Slipping back into old habits. It's so hard.

The entire world is designed to make you fail, and it's earier to let it than fight back. Even the most stubborn people get tired and let their guard down.

That looks delicious! Maybe I can have just one. Maybe I don't have to go out for a run today. Maybe I'll sleep till noon this once.

I'm pushing on, but It's not easy.

Once again unto the breach

Battle weary. Missing home. Can we really go at it again?

Started out fresh enough, ammo full, boots spit-shined and a strange excitement flowing through your veins.

But now the war has dragged out. Ammo running dry, friends maimed and expired, boots full of holes, why would you go back out there?

Do you believe in what you're fighting for or are you just a foot soldier who thought he'd get a kick out of enlisting with his buddies?

Choose another battle, go home and hug your mom and dad. There's no use dying for generals who wouldn't do the same for you, hanging out in their mansions, playing golf and sipping wine the colour of the blood you spilt out in the open.

Or maybe... you do have a purpose. Not to be cool and a hero to everyone. Maybe if you're defeated your entire family and everything you know gets blown into bits. Maybe you're not the aggressor claiming land for the bigwigs, but a person defending his home and serving his neighbours.

We all need to fight sometimes. Even if we don't feel like it, even if you'd rather spend the day watching youtube in your briefs.

You have to earn your victories, you have to deserve your lifestyle. Chilling out on the shoulders might be fine for a while. But some faithful day, they're gonna drop you.

You have to be ready to fend for yourself and loved ones. You have to be on your toes, learning skills as weapons and buffing up your brain and body.

Then maybe when you hang your helmet up, you can take a deep breath and have a respect for the people dying out there.

I know you're tired, but sometimes you have to march forward to see the sunrise.

Communication breakdown

She's thinks he thinks this but he actually thinks this. He says this but he really means this. They all think this but they didn't say it out loud. It's communication breakdown.

It's the plot behind almost every sitcom. It's a funny thing, getting tied up in knots too complex to undo.

Human communication is rich. From words to gestures... from smells to textures, the message can be simple but it's the mode of delivery that introduces the signal noise.

Couple that with a thousand different emotions and you get a gooey lump of issues trying so desperately to digest the other lump. Life's so absurd. It's like an obstacle course without the trophy in the end.

We do our best to get the Chinese whispers right only to piss each other off.

Laziness

We all feel it sometimes. It's one of life's greatest struggles.

It engulfs us all at any given point in time, combined with tiredness and your moments are wasted.

It's hard to soldier on when you'd rather stay in bed, time's going faster than you want it to. Your mind is moving slower than it should.

You can't be in a peak state all the time. It's what you do when you feel lazy that defines you.

Go through the motions anyway, stick to your routines, hobble along knowing that someday, you'll get past the slog.

The slave mentality

We have been trained to be slaves our entire life. Ever since we were young, we chug down coffee to compensate being overworked and underslept. Little kids forced to carry bags half their weight, what better skill for a future cog!

It's sad to see every generation have its own version of indentured servitude. The classic definition of slave is one who works without pay or compensation. Though money can give the illusion of compensation, this not always the case.

It seems only fair, our ancestors toiled in fields and hunted in the wilderness to attain an inkling of the comfort and sustenance we enjoy today. But there is a trap that many a bright soul has tragically fallen into.

They lack a passion for their work. They work solely for the paper IOUs of happiness.

That's not to say we should all take up oil painting and performance drama. Passion can be found in almost any profession. But if it's all about the money, we might as well be whores who hate sex.

There is honour in every job; be it collecting garbage, panhandling or even sitting atop a fortune 500 company.

It's not about chasing your dream job necessarily but bringing the passion to your work.

Enjoying the thrill of helping others, loving that you play a role, savouring the high of creating something - even just a fraction of a fraction of something.

Most of us have to work, a lucky few can play all day riding on the passionate work of their forefathers. That's cool and okay... we shouldn't despise these people.

We should stop buying into the myth of consumption as the pinnacle of success.
The Africans rounded up way back when had no choice, most of us have a little more.

Don't choose to be a slave.

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
-Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

What other people think

We all like to consider ourselves someone who isn't swayed by popular thought. But it's hardwired into our brains. That's how we survived since the beginning. Banding together and forming solid groups that kept getting larger and larger.

We might do things fighting against this instinct, but it's an instinct nonetheless.
Do something without caring what other people think often means we want people to care that WE don't care.

Sometimes though, it stops us from doing the right thing, or makes us freeze in our tracks even if we think we should step in, speak out or stand out.

We should wrestle, bargain and compromise with this urge. Our brain controls us just as equally as we control our brains. The brain isn't one united, singular unit but many inner voices lobbying for their separate agendas.

The president we are of this cabinet of advisers and not taking heed is as detrimental as going with the flow with our noisy internal senate.

We're always thinking about what other people think. But do we stop and think what we think?

Apprehension

Anxiety. Tension. A quiver of the lip in the expectation of something bad.
We take all precaution yet things turn into crap anyway.

So why suffer before you are due for suffering? why pre-suffer?

Preparation and practise are always good things to have but fidgeting seconds before your moment is detrimental in the very least.

No harm came ever came from staying calm yet alert but being nervous and twitchy usually makes you miss your mark.

Yet why do people still worry? Some would argue it's inevitable, a human trait designed to keep our cavemen ancestors safe from everything that could kill them... which was everything.

Although not much is spoken about training to be calm, training our nerves, keeping a good vibe and not wrecking other's. Like the famous UFC fighter Conor Mcgregor said recently in his ridiculously PPV live show spectacle interview, Strength, speed and stamina are commonly stated attributes of a fighter. But why not calmness? Calmness before the fight and calmness when getting punched in the face. Or something like that.

I know you're stressed, I know you're worried. Why do have to harsh my vibe?
Practise the art of being chill. Practise the art of dissipating your worries internally instead of taking it out others (or yourself).

Nothing's easy, but I don't think many people consider this an important life skill to have.  

The hangover

It's how you pay for it. That's the credit card bill after binging on shoes and uber rides.

Your mind wanders, it wears off and all your left with is a headache and a body that wants to detach itself from your head.

Is it worth it? Sometimes. But more often than not, you get egged on and your plans to have one or two go down the drain.

Then you're in for a crazy night and a rocky next day.

It's a guilt bomb exploding in the minefields of your mind that sets off a chain reaction. It's unavoidable, it's inevitable, it's a hangover. Take an asprin and deal with it.

Sleep

Ahhh... the nectar of life.

It's a peaceful, safe state that allows us to recharge. And most of us don't nearly have enough of it.
Sometimes it's easier to stay wired than to commit to a daily recharging.

You feel unproductive during rest, you feel guilty because you think you aren't getting anything done, you run away from a very important daily update in your firmware. Once you start working on outdated software, you lose your ability to interface with the rest of the world.

It's hard to focus on sleep. The blinking screens, little lamps of shiny blue and white ready to reward the craving parts of your brain.

"Oh look at the time!" You rush to get some and the more your pressured as the alarm approaches, you lose even more sleep.

Contrary to public ideals, it's tough work to sleep. Sleeping is not lazy. Watching YouTube is lazy. Scrolling Facebook and the unlimited number food and boob photos on Instagram is lazy. Sleep was never unproductive, scrolling always was.

I'm all too familiar with major sleep deprivation. It's not pretty. In fact, you'll lose your mind.

So sleep dear friend. It's a gift to yourself and all those around you. Wake up to the universe and tap a place of unlimited energy and creativity.

Trying to stay an artiste

We all start out as artists. Not necessarily the classic definition of artists who dabbles in painting, music etc.. But we all started trying to make things beautiful, trying to express ourselves and gift others with our skills and talents.

But somewhere down the line. We got fixated on being correct and right. Following the rules of art as gospel as if in by following those rules, we would automatically be artists.

Art is never perfect, even more so artists. We lose sight of trying to make a change, stand out and be singular in our individuality; and we fall in line, live day by day impatiently sprinting towards a nonexistent finish line.  

Who are we trying to impress? What are we going for? Maybe to be indispensable, maybe we want the absence of our art and self to be felt. Maybe we're trying to evoke emotions. Or maybe we're just trying not to be zombies.